We Meniere's warriors experience some dark emotions. I've had many of them myself - sometimes it feels like we're going through the Dark Night of the Soul.
The real monster behind these experiences isn't the first touch of the anger, or despair, or sadness.
It's what we do with it afterwards.
There are 2 parts to anguish:
1. the triggering event (whether a physical experience or a mental one);
2. the endless dialogue in our minds afterwards.
I call this secondary battle of the mind the 2nd crime scene.
The 2nd crime scene is the reasoning we do in our minds after the flash of the emotion.
The why did this happen, what did I do wrong, why couldn't they just do this or that, why do these things happen to me, I'm never going to get better... You could go on forever with those dialogues we get caught in sometimes.
It starts with trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong, and then it keeps escalating until there's self-blame, guilt, and all kinds of spooky stuff.
It reminds me of the 2nd crime scene retired police sergeant Sanford Strong talked about on Oprah about what to do when someone intends to commit physical violence.
He said that if you are being attacked, never let them take you to a second crime scene, even if they have a gun:
"Rule number one—and frankly, it's probably, in my opinion, the most important: Never allow them to take you anywhere else. Never," says Sanford. "Because crime scene number two is going to be isolated, you won't choose it, you'll be the focus of the crime."
If you've ever spent more than a week suffering in the dark after an emotional event (like a diagnosis), then you've experienced the violence thoughts can inflict on us.
It's important not to go to the 2nd crime scene of a negative emotion. You need to not let it get any farther than that first flash.
The way you do that is to label the raw emotion without the mental conversation afterwards.
It's never "I feel bad because", it's "I just feel bad right now."
The very minute you put a meaning on what you're experiencing, your mind takes you to the 2nd crime scene.
You see, emotions are a physical experience. If you let it express itself by labeling it without trying to explain it, it does what it needs to do at that moment - express and dissipate.
Once your mind gets a hold of it, it's a whole other story.
I've talked about labels before, and we'll be going more into how to deal with these emotions in the 90 Days to Resiliency program starting just after the new year.
Imagine how many thoughts about your healing, your people, and your dreams you can have if you're not caught in the clutches of constant mental anguish.
You deserve to stay safe and grounded on the road to your recovery and well-being.
If you are in a situation where you're trying to live a good life, feel you have good stuff inside you, but you're getting caught up in anxiety, you're most welcome to get on the phone with me to talk about how you and I and 4 other people can alleviate these difficult thoughts we have. You're not alone.
Here's the link to my personal schedule to book your call:
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