Each human being has millions of thoughts and things to see and influences and impulses. We can't pay attention all of it or we would go crazy.
Because there's way too much stimuli in our environment, there's a part of our brains called the Reticular Activating System that helps to filter out the stuff we don't need to see.
What we focus on in repetition creates a filter for our RAS so that it knows to pay attention to information related to the thing we're focusing on.
That's why you can tune out a crowd but can still hear your name if it's called.
Getting caught up in the what ifs, or the why can't Is, doesn't just feel bad, it's calling on the RAS to show you things that support the dialogue.
So that on your way to the kitchen, you'll only hear the negative part of the TV program your spouse is watching because your RAS is only sending you information based on your internal dialogue.
That's why it is so important to change any negative thinking patterns into questions.
Asking questions shifts negative thinking and calls on the RAS to show you solutions related to the question, instead of more of the same problem.
All you have to do is switch out a "why can't I" to a "how do I" statement.
And then you can just go about your business. And it could be a week later, it could be even today, but you'll start noticing solutions in your environment, things you used to bump into but not notice, but now you see it.
You can use questions for all kinds of things. If you misplace something, you can say, "Where did I put the other shoe?"
After you ask a question, be quiet and listen. You'll get an idea or a hunch as the answer.
Reframe "Why doesn't anybody understand?" to "How do I become more autonomous so I don't have to explain myself?"
Nightmares beget nightmares, but questions beget answers.
P.S. We're having our first FaceBook Live in 2 1/2 hours in the Meniere's Acceptance Club. Be here if you want to come talk about how to lower stress
Here's the link to join the Club if you have an hour and want to join us:
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